Ben Rosen is a Senior Creative at BuzzFeed, and a huge Ravens fan in his spare time. This season, we're merging Ben's general Internet silliness with his love for the Ravens each week in "Funny Pages." Enjoy, and feel free to share his creative awesomeness on social media.
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Dear Sir or Madam,
I hope that this article finds you well. I can confirm that the organization has delivered the initial "win" you requested. As you are aware, the package arrived a little later than expected and I sincerely apologize for that. To make good for the delay, I've attached several GIFs, complete with instructions, at no extra charge. These should help boost morale at your office and ultimately increase productivity on this Purple Friday. Please utilize the following as you deem necessary:
Attachment #1: This is one of our premium offerings and is best implemented as a response to a coworker who demonstrates excellence in the field of emailing:
Attachment #2: Here is an asset that can be effective as a method for congratulating your team after a successful meeting with the client:
Attachment #3: If you are having difficulties conveying urgency in a professional manner, embed this item into your email:
Attachment #4: Efficiency is a skill that should be rewarded in the office. Please use the following GIF to show appreciation towards your coworker for doing their part:
Attachment #5: If your peer happens to send you a file that is inappropriate (like a Steelers logo), feel free to respond with this warning:
Attachment #6: In the event that you receive some questionable feedback, it might be best to hop on a call and sort through the confusion. You can use the following GIF to articulate the need for some quality phone time:
As always, please reach out if you have any questions. We hope to deliver another "win" to you by EOW. Thanks for your patience and continued support.
Let's get to work!
Best,
- Ben
PS. Synergy. Big Picture. Collaboration.
