Ben Rosen is a Senior Creative at BuzzFeed, and a huge Ravens fan in his spare time. This season, we're merging Ben's general Internet silliness with his love for the Ravens each week in "Funny Pages." Enjoy, and feel free to share his creative awesomeness on social media.
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Home Is Where The Start Is
Let's get this out of the way: 0-2 is not the ideal start to the season. That said, it's not the end of the world, gang. We all knew the schedule was going to be rough. Nothing has changed. Last year, the Ravens had four losses on the road and still made it to the divisional round of the playoffs.
Now we're finally home.
Don't panic, dust yourself off, and add some extra honey to your tea because the Bengals are coming to town and it's time to GET STUPID LOUD.
Take 60 Seconds To Name Every Word That Describes Crockett Gilmore's Touchdown
And...GO:
Absurd, fantastic, powerful, magical, unbelievable, freakish, unreal, graceful, controlled, balanced, talented, whirling, ummm... football guy, strengthy? Time.
For those who somehow missed it:
Oh God... What Have I Done?
I sat down this week with a lot of optimism. I had a great idea for this segment: photoshopping the Bengals players' faces onto a bunch of little cat bodies. How fun!
Sure, I didn't actually know how to do that, but I figured I'd try it anyway. What's the worst that could happen?...
...it's not like I would inadvertently create the most horrific images that have ever been uploaded to the internet...
...nightmares that, once viewed, could never be unseen...
...yeah, what's the worst that could happen?...
AJ Green:
Andy Dalton:
I'm calling this one "Tyler Eif-purr-t" ... again... I'm very very sorry about this:
Prediction Time?
Let's not talk about any of my previous score predictions because clearly the sun was in my eyes and I accidentally typed the wrong score. Also, I wasn't ready.
Now that we've cleared that up, here's the absolutely accurate score for our upcoming game.
RAVENS: 28
BENGALS: 24
I promise, if I'm wrong again, I'll print out this hellish photoshop of "Meowvin Lewis" and hang it up above my bed like some kind of demonic dreamcatcher:
See you next week!
