Review: Jacoby Jones Puts On A Show In Dancing With The Stars Debut


Jacoby Jones' debut dance was a whole lot of fun to watch, but it didn't win over the judges.

Jones and "Dancing With The Stars" partner Karina Smirnoff performed a cha-cha-cha that included Ray Lewis' famous "Squirrel Dance."

Yet it got just a 20 out of 30 on their scoring. The high score of the night was 24, given to Disney star Zendaya Coleman and professional partner Val Chmerkovskiy.

Here's the judges take:

Carrie Ann: "You definitely have the moves but it was kind of like a big old medley of touchdown dances. You've got to work on your posture and learn the technique a little bit more. But you've got a lot. You only had one week, nice try."

Len Goodman: "It was all icing and no cake, I'm telling you. This was all performance driven. The technique was terrible, you're bent over, your footwork was terrible, your feet are turned in. Okay, the performance is high. You've got to dance to your height. However tall you are, you've got to stand up straight. You're over the top." (Jacoby quipped back, "I love you too.")

Bruno Tonioli: "Listen to me! I think you have the potential of becoming Season 16's steaming sex machine. You can grind it as well as I've seen people grind it in 16 seasons. Yes, but you have to really work on your foot placement because your feet are turned in. You have to place them correctly. And control your posture. But you've got the goods."

Now that we've got their amateur assessments you of the way, here are my notes:

    • First of all, it was revealed that Jones had only a week to rehearse for performance because he had offseason knee surgery. He had to simply watch Smirnoff dance in the mirror for a while. "I don't like being a bench warmer," Jones said.
    • Jacoby's mom, Emily London-Jones, may be the most adorbs lady ever. That's right, I said adorbs. Just judging from her little shimmy when taking credit for Jacoby's dance skills, it's easy to see where her son got his swag.
    • Jacoby and Smirnoff's chemistry showed from the outset. Their very first move had Smirnoff swing and wrap around Jacoby's right lane. Then Jacoby dipped her deep for the crowd. Oooh la la.
    • The New Orleans native definitely does have some moves. A spin (two full rotations) and full body rolled looked really natural and he's got tons of energy. You can see why teammates called him "Dragonfly," but for these purposes I like "J-Smooth."
    • About midway through, Jacoby subtly weaved in his touchdown-celebration jackknife ending. You should know the one I'm talking about. Problem was Smirnoff didn't do the same thing. Sooooo, not sure if that was meant to happen or not.
    • You can see Jacoby's turned-in feet from the start and throughout. It's not fundamental dancing, but you've got to give the guy a break considering he is naturally pigeon-toed. It's honestly going to be very difficult (if not impossible) for him to break that.
    • The "Squirrel Dance" was definitely the highlight. I don't remember Ray Lewis doing all the knee wobbling, but Jacoby still makes it look good. Hmmmm, think he'll take over Ray's pregame dance next year?
  • After the dance, Jacoby looked like he was going to die from exhaustion. As he said afterwards, there's no play in the NFL that lasts a minute and 30 seconds. What you may not know about Jacoby is that he actually puked after his 108-yard kickoff return for a touchdown the Super Bowl. I wonder how close he came to blowing chunks at that very moment.

Fans can vote for Jacoby online up to 11 a.m. Tuesday, and the first results show will be next Tuesday, March 26. Fans can do so on ABC's website, on Facebook, with a phone call or via text message.

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