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Funny Pages: Dress Appropriately for Ravens Football

Posted Oct 6, 2017

It's time to get your fall wardrobe updated for the wild ups and downs of Ravens football. Plus, a shoutout to Patrick Onwuasor.


This feels like the football version of purgatory.

We've had two games where we were gods competing against sacks of day-old bread, and we've had two preseason games that somehow snuck into the regular season. That kind of rollercoaster makes it really difficult to tell what kind of season we're building toward. On the one hand, we could correct the mistakes on offense and defense, go on a mid-season tear, and end up smack dab in the center of a playoff hunt. On the other hand, the injury toll could continue to rise and we could spiral. 

The honest answer is that we might have a little of both. There are going to be games where we flat out stink; that's the price we pay for losing *huge inhale* two of our top running backs, our top four guards, our top tight end, a starting inside linebacker, our starting defensive end, our starting nickel corner, our top special teams player, our top nose guard (get well soon, Brandon Williams!) and countless other role players.

We're also going to have games where we demolish our opponents. We're just too dang talented not to.

When you have a season with such wild ups and downs, it's important to dress appropriately. Here is some fashion inspiration for your fall football: 

THE HAPPY BIRD HAT // RAVENS EDITION

For when the defense is crushing, the offense is clicking, and life is good.

THE EDGAR ALLEN NOPE

For the weeks where you just want to turn the lights off, sit in your room, and not talk about anything with anyone.

THE EVERGREEN STEELERS HAT

For when you want to say to the world, "I dislike the Steelers, regardless of if we beat them or not."

Before I close out with this weeks Scrabble bag of random illustrations and GIFs, I want to give a shoutout to linebacker Patrick Onwuasor, AKA "Peanut." The guy plays fast, has a nasty streak, and is really coming into his own. As is tradition for the Funny Pages, I present to you, Patrick — if you're reading this (he's not) — this really strange drawing of you as Mr. Peanut:


RELEASE THE MEMES:



(House M.D. / FOX)



(Jeopardy! / CBS Television Distribution)

Enjoy your weekend, everyone!

- Ben

Please Note

The opinions, analysis and/or speculation expressed on BaltimoreRavens.com represent those of individual authors, and unless quoted or clearly labeled as such, do not represent the opinions or policies of the Baltimore Ravens' organization, front office staff, coaches and executives. Authors' views are formulated independently from any inside knowledge and/or conversations with Ravens officials, including the coaches and scouts, unless otherwise noted.

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