Funny Pages: Am I The Only One Who Forgot We Had Starters?


I'M VERY MUCH RESISTING THE URGE TO WRITE THIS ENTIRE ARTICLE IN CAPS. This week had the emotional trajectory of a Herman Cain smile (Stephen Colbert and Mike Tyson for reference). Could it have gone any better?

We win our first preseason game.

The Steelers, Browns, and Bengals lose their first preseason game. (I know it doesn't matter, but it feels like it matters.)

Crockett Gilmore is back. 

Tavon Young is back.

Chris Moore is back.

Backstreet's back.

STEVE SMITH is back.

And if all that isn't good enough, our own Terrell "Darth Sizzle" Suggs is back. 

It's like we actually get to play football with the team we were supposed to play football with. What a concept! It's been so long since we've had our starters, that I legitimately forgot that our backups weren't supposed to be starting. BRING ON THE REGULAR SEASON.

"Darth Sizzle is back" !

Bengals fans seeing the news that Steve Smith is healthy again: !

Still... something's missing: !


It's not smart to make a sweeping analysis of a player from one preseason game, but I've never claimed to be intelligent. It seemed like every time there was a big play on Thursday night, No. 28 was the guy carrying the rock. I'm really rooting for him to succeed; I've always wanted a hometown kid to put on a Ravens jersey and turn into a superstar. I've also always wanted the Ravens to send four running backs to the Pro Bowl, so maybe the football gods have been reading my dream journal!

King of Westeros !

Hopefully we get to use this GIF a lot: !

Ok, that's all for now. Have a great week everybody! 

  • Ben
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