Funny Pages: We Should All Be Taking Baby Aspirin


Let this mark the beginning of my campaign to add "frustrastic" and "disasterrific" to Merriam-Webster dictionaries around the world. What a horribly delightful game we all just witnessed. I can't tell if this was the most gutsy comeback we've ever had, or just some locker room dare we took out of boredom. 

This game was the real life version of getting back from the bathroom and realizing your little brother un-paused Madden to try to run the score up on you.

grabs the Xbox controller and blocks the extra point

punches little brother in the arm

*shuts him out for the rest of the game and wins 25-20 *

In a sick way, this was one of my favorite Ravens games of all time. Seriously! I mean, what a plot twist. Keep an eye on your blood pressure, folks. It's going to be a fun season.


(Hanna-Barbera / Scooby-Doo Where Are You?) !

(Twentieth Century Fox / Dodgeball) !

(Broken Lizard / Super Troopers)

FUN FACT: We currently have the second-best defense in the NFL, even without Elvis Dumervil in the rotation. Being second in the league for average yards allowed per game is nice, but it's not exactly telling. My college professor used to say, "If you have one foot in ice water and the other in boiling water, an average says that you're comfortable." After this week's game against a very potent Jacksonville offense, we'll have a much clearer understanding of how scary our defense really is. 

On the plus side, we've played eight quarters of football, and we've shut out our opponent in six of them. Have we given up 27 points in the remaining two quarters? Sure, but... OH WOW look, more GIFs! !

(Twentieth Century Fox / The Simpsons) !

(Comedy Central / Key & Peele) !

(Twentieth Century Fox / Independence Day)

See you next week!

  • Ben
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