The dreaded NFL offseason has arrived.
The days of spending weekends parked on the couch watching football have come to an end, and now Americans will have to find a new way to enjoy their Sunday afternoons.
Fans now have to wait 212 days – start the countdown – before another NFL regular-season game. Even without games for the next several months, we will still keep fans updated with daily content to fill that insatiable football fix.
As we sulk and come to grips with the reality that football is on a hiatus, here are the 10 worst things about the offseason.
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1. Sunday Chores
Get to work. No more excuses about wanting to watch the game.
2. Bowling takes over TV
Can't find anything to watch?
Don't worry, bowling is there for you.
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3. No more Sundays of eating nothing but chicken wings
You'll need to find something else to supplement that weekend diet.
4. Never-ending draft speculation
Get used to seeing a lot of Mel Kiper and Todd McShay.
All day. Every day.
5. You have to find something else to trash talk your friends about
You've been bragging to that Steelers friend down the street for the last year about how the Ravens are the Super Bowl champs. Not anymore.
Better find a new topic for trash talk.
6. Crazy fans go back to day jobs
You can't wear this into the office.
7. No more celebration dances
Justin Tucker has to find somewhere for his "Oooh Kill Em" routine, and Jacoby Jones will have a few months to decide on a new set of touchdowns dances.
8. National Anthem loses a whole lot of emotion
Let's be honest, the National Anthem just isn't the same at a baseball game.
When's the last time you saw a baseball player crying during the Star Spangled Banner?
9. Losing beloved players
It's never fun to see a fan favorite leave town. It's a tough part of the offseason.
10. Manufactured stories
There may not be any games, but there is still time to fill and papers to sell.
Cue another round of pundits discussing whether Joe Flacco is elite.